If you recognise yourself in these signs: You are not imagining it, and it is not your fault. Reach out to a confidential helpline anytime — see our Get Help page.
Signs You May Be Experiencing Abuse
Abuse can be hard to recognise when you're in the middle of it. The following may indicate an abusive or unhealthy relationship.
How You Feel
- You feel afraid of your partner's reactions
- You constantly feel like you're "walking on eggshells"
- You feel worthless, stupid, or "too sensitive"
- You feel you deserve to be treated badly
- You find yourself apologising for things that aren't your fault
- You feel confused about what is or isn't "normal"
- You feel isolated from people you used to be close to
How You're Being Treated
- Your partner criticises, humiliates, or belittles you — especially in front of others
- Your partner controls your money, movements, or choices
- You are pressured into sexual acts you don't want
- Your partner threatens you, your children, or your pets
- Your partner monitors your phone, email, or social media
- You're told what to wear, eat, or who you can see
- Arguments quickly turn physical, or you fear they might
Am I in an Abusive Relationship?
These questions may help you reflect on your situation. If you answer "yes" to several, it may be worth speaking to someone you trust, or contacting a helpline.
Fear is a significant warning sign. Everyone has the right to feel safe with their partner. If you feel regularly anxious, afraid, or on edge around your partner, this is worth taking seriously — even if they have never physically hurt you.
Abusers frequently isolate victims from their support networks, making it harder to leave and easier to maintain control. This might start gradually — your partner may express jealousy, criticise your friends, or create conflict before visits.
Control might look like being told what to wear, needing to ask permission to go out, having your finances controlled, or being monitored constantly. In a healthy relationship, both people have autonomy and independence.
Victims often minimise or justify abusive behaviour — "they were just stressed", "they didn't mean it", "it wasn't that bad". If you regularly find yourself explaining away or covering up how a partner treats you, it may be time to speak to someone outside the relationship.
Physical violence is never acceptable and is never a one-off. Research shows that if violence happens once, it is likely to happen again — often escalating in frequency and severity. Please reach out for support even if you feel it was "minor".
Signs Someone Else May Be Experiencing Abuse
If you're worried about a friend, family member, or colleague, these changes in behaviour may indicate something is wrong.
Changes in Behaviour
- Becoming withdrawn or unusually quiet
- Appearing anxious, depressed, or fearful
- Seeming nervous when talking about their partner
- Cancelling plans frequently, often at the last minute
- Low self-esteem or loss of confidence
Changes in Relationships
- Becoming increasingly isolated from friends and family
- A partner who controls or monitors them in public
- Being prevented from speaking for themselves
- Never having access to their own money
- A partner who puts them down or humiliates them
Physical Signs
- Unexplained bruises, cuts, or injuries
- Injuries that don't match their explanation
- Wearing concealing clothing in warm weather
- Visible flinching or startle response
- Signs of physical neglect or malnourishment
Signs a Child May Be Experiencing Abuse
Children often cannot or do not disclose abuse directly. These signs may indicate a child needs support.
Behavioural Indicators
- Sudden changes in behaviour or school performance
- Appearing fearful of certain adults or places
- Age-inappropriate sexual knowledge or behaviour
- Withdrawal from friends, activities, or family
- Running away from home or school
- Self-harm or talk of suicide
Physical Indicators
- Unexplained injuries, especially in unusual places
- Frequent hunger, tiredness, or poor hygiene
- Inadequate clothing for the weather
- Untreated medical or dental problems
- Appearing fearful when it is time to go home
Concerned about a child? Don't wait. Contact the NSPCC Helpline on 0808 800 5000 or speak to a local authority children's social care team. In an emergency, call 999.