Remember: You cannot force someone to leave an abusive situation. What you can do is let them know you are there, that you believe them, and that they are not alone. That often matters more than anything else.
What You Can Do
Listen Without Judgement
Let them talk at their own pace. Don't interrupt, offer unsolicited opinions, or tell them what they should do. Simply listening and believing them is powerful.
Believe Them
It takes enormous courage to disclose abuse. If someone tells you what's happening, believe them. Avoid phrases like "are you sure?" or "maybe you're misreading it".
Offer Consistent Support
Keep in regular contact. Let them know you're there for them regardless of what they decide to do. Reliability matters — abusers often cut off victims from support networks.
Share Information — Gently
You can share resources like this website or helpline numbers, but don't overwhelm them. Leave the decision-making to them — respecting their autonomy is important.
Help with Practical Things
Offer to research services, help with childcare, store important documents, or simply accompany them to appointments if they want company.
Look After Yourself Too
Supporting someone in an abusive situation can be emotionally exhausting. Make sure you also seek support — talking to a counsellor or support service is not a sign of weakness.
What Not to Do
Some actions, even with the best intentions, can make the situation more dangerous for the victim.
It's normal to feel helpless. One of the hardest parts of supporting someone in an abusive situation is that you can't fix it for them. Their journey is their own, and your consistent, non-judgemental presence is genuinely valuable — even when it doesn't feel like it.
For Professionals
Teachers, healthcare workers, social workers, and others who work with vulnerable people have a particularly important role in recognising and responding to abuse.
Safeguarding responsibilities
In the UK, professionals working with children and vulnerable adults have a legal duty of care. If you have concerns, follow your organisation's safeguarding policy and contact your designated safeguarding lead (DSL).
Useful resources for professionals
- NSPCC Learning – safeguarding training and resources
- DASH (Domestic Abuse, Stalking and Honour-Based Violence) risk assessment
- Local Safeguarding Children Partnerships (LSCPs)
- SafeLives professional resources at safelives.org.uk
Support for You
Supporting someone who is being abused can take a significant emotional toll. You deserve support too.